Squatters India Pale Ale

I was so excited to see this at La Tienda (see more of a reference here) on our way to Utah that I picked up a sixer… we brought it all the way to the in-laws and had a bit of some the first night on our marathon drinking session… because of this, though, I didn’t trust my tasting so had another today and that is what I am basing my review on… we try to be unbiased and untainted… really.

First off, this is not your typical IPA… The site (Squatters IPA) notes that it is balanced, has won metals in the IPA category, etc. but I just don’t see it.  There are so many great IPAs out there… I wouldn’t put this one at the top… I do have to give props of course… these folks have it rough living where they live and brewing where they brew… that almost gives them bonus points but there are no bonus points in beer drinking, so sorry folks.

As this brew pours, it pours a cloudy light orange color with a medium head… the nose isn’t super strong, isn’t standard IPA, and I have a rough time pulling anything out of it… maybe a bit fruity but I have to really search for it.  The body is mild, as well… at 6% it doesn’t taste like it and the hops just don’t hit like normal hops do… which leads to the finish that lingers a bit, drifting in a melancholy fade into nothing.  Overall, this is a strange brew… it has the hints of being a normal IPA but just misses the mark in the wrong direction… too mild and too middle of the road.

JBB6 Rating: Middle of the Road

Squatters Full Suspension Pale Ale

Second beer of the day helped to significantly increase my opinion of the Squatters-Wasatch co-op.  Not because it was an amazing beer, but because I started to see some consistency in what they are doing.  This beer was a bit darker, more of an amber color, but it went down hoppy and smooth and had a good lasting taste to it (I was kind of sipping tonight).  Squatters Full Suspension Pale Ale is on the high end of Middle of the Road, but there all the same.  Good work folks!

JBB6 Rating: Middle of the Road

Wasatch Beers The Devastator Double Bock

Having gone through one batter from Wasatch and Squatters already, I didn’t know if we would have a perfect inning or not… well, thank god they came through with their 4th beer of the trip.  We finally were able to step out of the alcohol content restrictions and enjoy a beer that they really only get to sell at the liquor stores.  Wasatch Beers The Devastator Double Bock delivered and then some with a hearty full flavored beer with a good head, clean bitter hop taste that stays on the tongue (not down the throat), and solid ABV.  While some thought this was a bit tart, I tend to think it was just right and perfect for the category.

JBB6 Rating: Will Buy Again

Squatters Captain Bastard’s Oatmeal Stout

Ok… so on to Saturday morning… 11:30 am rolls around and we figure it has been long enough.  We know darn well it is afternoon on the east coast, so we are in the clear.  We start with Squatters Captain Bastard’s Oatmeal Stout in an attempt to let the brewery redeem itself… well… hate to say it, but this is strike number 3 for Squatters. 

I know I mentioned that I kind of grew up on this beer at the White Owl in the same town I am in now, but I think I was young, dumb, and you know what since this beer just isn’t good.  I think that is what having good beer has done to me.  As far as pour, it is very dark with a standard head.  Taste, on the other hand, was covered by my father-in-law as, “burnt coffee filtered through canvas”.  Pretty much sums it up.  They were trying to hard to give this one flavor and just ended up flubbing it.

JBB6 Rating: Just Not Right

Squatters Chasing Tail Golden Ale

So far our beer drinking endeavors have been rewarding to say the least.  We have been able to taste about 8 different brews in about 48 hours and still have quite a few in the fridge to go through.  Ahh… vacation is great, isn’t it.  Need to finish up with last night’s beer… Squatters Chasing Tail Golden Ale was the last one of the evening and I wish it hadn’t been as I am sure that is why I had the recurring nightmare that a dog was pissing in my mouth… <shiver>. 

Not only was this beer not good, but it… well… it just wasn’t good.  Another watered down beer that was attempting greatness and just didn’t make it.  I think I figured out my theory on these beers… beer needs to be beer… it can’t be held back and shackled into an alcohol level that it isn’t made for.  When this does happen, it takes away that special something that makes a good, cared for beer a good beer.  Just like the cheaper bottles of wine.  Some have potential for greatness, but if you put it in a box, you just aren’t going to get the most out of it.

So, this beer was all the wrong kinds of bitter, nasty aftertaste that was in your throat and wouldn’t go away.  Especially out of the bottle, this was some skunky beer.  Golden in color, golden medal, golden lump of dog feces in my book.  Ok… a little harsh, but I really didn’t enjoy this one and neither did my drinking partner of the night, for that matter.

JBB6 Rating: Just Not Right

Squatters Provo Girl Pilsner

Second Utah Beer of the night brings us a funny name for a beer: Squatters Provo Girl Pilsner.  I wish the taste lived up to the name, but what can I say?  This came in a 12 pack that had 4 different types… Squatters Party in a Box.  A good way to sample the beer from this here brewery, but I hope that the rest come out better. 

Provo Girl is another watered down Utah beer that seems like they are trying too hard to hit the 4.0 ABV.  As my drinking buddy Ryan said tonight, it is kind of like taking your best friend to prom… it might look good on the surface, but you know you aren’t going to really get anything out of it at the end. 

JBB6 Rating: Just Not Right